Wednesday, February 16, 2011

adaptations

I picked a new loop today. It was a particularly dark morning, so I decided to go into the office first. Once there I got wrapped up in emails and such. I intended on doing the lake loop twice when I got up this morning, so I talked myself into crossing the pedestrian bridge over highway 80 and ran out to the Berkeley Marina before heading back. About a mile and a half before the end, the rain started to pour, then hail. I got back to the office drenched and feeling pretty chilled. Thankfully my gear is moisture wicking, so I may still get away with it sans a sniffle.


Yesterday’s Power Hour (our Tuesday personal training hour) included 5 sets of 15 pushups. We have about 30 seconds of rest in between sets. My second to last set of pushups was 10 reps. My last set was 4. I could barely hold my water bottle up to refill it at the filter machine after that. Today my chest, shoulders and armpits are super sore. Yoga was humbling.

I also had a check-in with our specialty trainer, The Sage, at lunchtime. He is educated in so many restorative methods that I would trust him to assess and heal an injury before I’d even consider visiting a doctor. I had a special issue for him today. Since I’ve been receiving bodywork on a regular basis, I have a consistent reminder of how tight my IT bands get. I’ve been really good at rolling them on a regular basis and stretching well after every run. Recently they’ve begun to move away from the roller when I get to the “money spots”, where the biggest and tightest knots live. I can feel myself getting close, so I slow down and focus on relaxing the leg on the roller so I can get deep into it. Then, just when I’m about to strike gold, the IT band jumps over and pops out on the other side of the roller, completely avoiding any pressure. I went in for my weekly bodywork session with my Yogi yesterday, and she told me that she didn’t think it was making any difference. Something else is out of balance and needs to be addressed before any progress can be made. The Sage didn’t disappoint. He gave me some homework that I can do on my own for helping to loosen some stuff around the hips and strengthen the smaller muscles around the knee, the gluteus medius, lower abs and lower back. How can a person be tight in the hips but weak in the lower abs? You got me. I’ll do the exercises for a couple of weeks and go back for another assessment.

As is normally the case when recovering from a hard workout, my muscle soreness and fatigue go hand in hand. I’m supposed to meet an ex to catch up over dinner, but I’ll probably end up sitting with him for one drink and then bowing out early. We shall see.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Whoa Nelly!

I went on my first long run of the season yesterday – 2 weeks late according to the training schedule. It wasn’t all that great either. During lap #2 around Lake Merritt, a college track team slowly lapped me and started doing some hill suicides in front of me. I spent the majority of that run dodging loud, chatty women and here was a huge chattering group with a coach running back and forth yelling at them.




The last few weeks of exhaustion have finally caught up to me at the office. Many of my project timelines are rushed or overdue. There’s also the looming $6000 minimum I have to make in fundraising for the Shasta climb by the time we leave in June. It has me super stressed. I jolted awake at 5AM this morning and 6AM yesterday morning, haunted by fundraising details that still need to be confirmed and so much uncertainty about where things are going to fall. The training helps to keep me grounded, providing a pretty good outlet for my nervous energy. Even with that, I still long for some solid dates and plans to be set. There are three of us on the team here. We must raise $18,000. I have no idea how to do that. I’m trying not to feel overwhelmed. I’m not sure how good of a job I am doing, considering how behind I am in my work. I need help, literally. I’d like to ask someone, but at this point I’m not sure who to ask.

What I do know for certain is that shit has to change RIGHT NOW. I can’t have my life upside-down and my affairs in such disarray. I’ve got to get a handle on all this.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

this is how I'm normal

Although I know I’m fit, strong (and perhaps even what some would consider athletic), I still feel a lot of pressure to conform. I am not the largest woman on the climb team, but most of them are on average 50lbs lighter than me – especially those who are very strong hikers. Yesterday in the kitchen before lunch I was discussing the training with a coworker. He and another coworker (who was behind the counter prepping food for us) were asking me questions about the quality of my sleep and how much recovery time I take every week. I was extremely tired yesterday, and it couldn’t be more obvious. Their concern was refreshing. The one next to me asked, “Why are you doing so much so soon?” Out of my mouth fell all of these red flag words and phrases that I even found surprising.


“The other women in our hiking group are so much faster than me, and I think it’s because I’m bigger than them. I know that I’m more muscular than they are, but I want to be fast too.”

“When you get up on the mountain, they’re going to be hurting and you will be fine. Trust me.” Although I knew his comforting words made sense, my frame of mind has not shifted one bit. I’m still focused on the weight thing even though I know for sure than my long term endurance is just as strong if not stronger than most of the women on the team. It’s bugging me. One of the main reasons why I wanted so badly to be in good shape, play sports and dance and all of that is so I wouldn’t think this way. Health has very little to do with vanity. I’ve succumbed to the very thing I always hated while growing up. It was purely accidental.

I am not going to put any effort into undoing the damage. I’m going to focus on the endurance and stamina-improving benefits of the training and forget about everything else. Getting faster may have absolutely nothing to do with weight. This is what I’m counting on.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Ugh

I am having one of those days today. The timing is very inconvenient.




Last night I didn’t sleep very well. I stayed awake until around 11:45 (a full two hours past when I usually fall asleep). I tossed all night, each time waking up from the tenderness in my hips, and then I woke up before my alarm went off at 5:30. So weird. I didn’t get out of bed until 6AM because I just felt too tired to get moving that early. My legs were still fatigued from yesterday’s brutal stair workout, and the morning run (with more stairs) just didn’t sound appealing to me. I powered through it. My knee was a bit achy in the beginning and into the third mile, but I suppose that is due mostly to my other muscled being too tired to absorb as much shock as they normally would. Once I’d done the 3+ miles, I decided that the stairs weren’t that big of a deal. When I consider how many times the Terminator makes us do them on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the three Cascade sets are just a drop in the bucket. It probably takes me less than 10 minutes and I get to have a good stretch afterwards, with my legs nice and warm.

While showering this morning I thought about how much I prefer bike riding mornings to running mornings. I realize that I’ve only begun implementing this approach, but I’m pretty sure that it will continue this way. I look forward to the day when I can ride my bike the full 22-mile round trip with hills on the return trip and (on opposite days) run the lake loop twice before work with three sets of Cascade stairs at the beginning, middle and end. I’ll get there. I may not be able to do it tomorrow but I will definitely get there.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Keeping it Moving

I had a one on one with myself yesterday. I have to face it – my running training is far weaker than it needs to be right now if I plan on doing the Oakland Running Festival’s Half Marathon. Frankly, if I were advising someone else I’d tell them to forget about Oakland and find an event further out. There isn’t enough time to train properly. Yeah, that’s what I’d say if I were advising someone else. Since I am only talking to myself, I’m going to ignore that advice and continue as though I will be running the Oakland half. I do realize that I may not be ready by then, but at least I will be close. If I move my goal further out, I’m probably going to procrastinate…again.


I’ve been having a very difficult time with the climbing. Even just the training hikes (no ice axes, crampons or altitude) are kicking my ass something righteous. I have more than once wished I were a religious person so I could pray to make it to the top of a peak and, at times, even fool myself into thinking that this is all out of my hands. There’s also that, “God would never give you something you couldn’t handle…” business that sound really good in my head on those butt-burning hills. If it weren’t for the sweat streaming down the sides of my face and labored breathing at an extremely slow pace, I could deal with the burning in my ass or even the twitching in my quads when I take a break. I could accept all of it if only I were faster – cranking out the kind of speed that would warrant me looking as though I’m about to fall down to my hands and knees and have a heart attack.

What’s even more humiliating is that there are women 10+ years older than me and about 60lbs lighter than I am practically skipping up these hills while having conversations about their kids’ grades and shit – chatting it up like they’re strolling through the mall. Seriously, it is humbling. I don’t hate them, but, my admiration is bordering the worst and greenest kind of envy. I’ve decided to use it to help my motivation. The Breast Cancer Fund group meets twice a week in Mill Valley to do the Dipsea Steps in the morning. I think they said 7:15AM. I may not live close enough to go with them (especially considering that I’m normally at the office sometimes around 8-8:30AM), but I can get out there at least once a week to do them on my own. It’s looking like Saturdays are my best choice.

I’ve managed to do it again – not scheduling any rest days. Bad Hester! I moved my running days (M, W, F on long work weeks, M, W, Sat on short ones) because I just can’t handle the Shasta training on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons after running in the morning. I can switch it back when I’m stronger. I’ve also added the Cleveland Cascade stairs to my morning run. I did three sets this morning (1 to warm up and 2 at the end before stretching). It’s not too hard so I probably need to add 1-2 more sets of them every week to compensate for missing the Dipsea group training.

Speaking of Dipsea, I’m doing a Dipsea Trail hike this Friday (short week) with the gang from my last optional hike two weeks ago. Looking at the trail map (http://www.dipsea.org/course.html) only makes me dread it, but if trail runners can race on it I suppose the least I can do is walk it.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

screw this crap

I’m having yet another minimally productive day.


I’m tired. I haven’t done my mileage, I haven't stuck to my nutrition reguimen and I’ve put almost two bucks in the swear jar already. Didn't I just have one of these days? I’m hoping it gets better as we have more light in the mornings and evenings. This morning I woke up to my alarm at 5:55 and when I got up to go pee I felt so old and stiff. I jumped right back in bed and under the covers. I decided to turn the news on so I wouldn’t go back to sleep. The weatherman said the temperature outside was 38 degrees. Done and done. There was no way in hell that I was going out for a run in temperatures that low. Yes, I know that some places are below zero right now but I wouldn’t be running outside there either!

I would like to head home and go immediately to bed, but I’m going to a Chinese New Year potluck tonight. Not sure what I’m bringing yet. Let’s go see what whole foods has for me.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

bumps and bruised ego

Why is my life’s humor so sarcastic? I could go for a little more physical or goofy comedy. It’s not necessary for everyone to be such a smartass.


I would like to live closer to the office or closer to public transportation – either. I’d like to ride my bike to work (in an hour or less). I’d like to read more. I wish there wasn’t such a crazy bad neighborhood between me and the BART station. Even given the circumstances, I’m trying it. Today I rode my bike to the station and read while I took the train. Then I rode my bike from the MacArthur station to the office. This is it. I can’t take this car shit anymore. It was freezing, but still a damn sight better than dealing with traffic.  Transit time = 1 hour 10 minutes (twice what it takes in the car).  When the weather warms up, I'm going to ride the whole way home.  Tonight though, I'll probably be taking the train again.

My patience is at an all time low, my legs are sore every damn day and my knee is fucking killing me. I only ran 2/3 of the lake loop yesterday morning because my knee was aching for the entire first mile. It’s annoying. I took the day off from working out on Monday because it was bothering me so bad. It feels better right now. It won’t last. We have an evening hike on Saturday and a morning hike (the dreaded Dipsea Steps) on Sunday. This weekend I’m hiking with the BCF crew, so it’s going to be fast as well. Last weekend I did a 6 mile Mount Diablo hike with a few friends, but the pace wasn’t too bad. I was getting my ass kicked by the climbing - that’s what I came for. On the way back down I wanted to shoot myself or cut off my leg. I also ran out of water. That sucked, but in the end I was okay. I lived and there were no injuries. I had a hot shower when I got home, which made me feel much better by not only making me clean but also curing the headache. When I have headaches I find it helpful to apply heat to my forehead – water is the best and most effective method of heat application. On Saturday I had an Epsom salt bath and a rest day. Looking back, I should have gone for a walk or a bike ride to warm up the legs and then had a good stretch. Next time.

I need to get on top of the physical therapy aspect of all this training. My rolling and softball-to-knot work has been sporadic at best. I’m not enjoying the intense bodywork I receive from the trainers ONE BIT! I’d much rather give myself a little bit of pain every day at home than go in twice a week for sessions so intense that I cry out for Jesus 10 times in a half hour.

The gym sessions aren’t so bad. I suppose I’m only saying that because they are just 50 minutes to an hour each. I’ve come to the realization that getting pushed hard for an hour isn’t so bad. I’m even becoming fond of the stair workout. Okay, that might be pushing it – I am tolerating the stairs much better. Yeah, that’s more like it. I haven’t gone back into yoga as hardcore as I intended. After the five consecutive days of yoga my wrist started to bother me again. It happens when I do a lot of push-ups too. It’s probably due in a large part to all the time I spend on the keyboard. I have gone to two yoga classes since it started bothering me. It starts aching during the warm-up and arm balances are completely out of the question. Just another thing reminding me how old and fragile I may become someday. I’m actually hoping to go out more like Jack LaLanne – capable of doing the same workout every day until I just suddenly croak.

Lumpy fell off the stage at the club the other day while installing some new equipment. The side of his face looks like he got into a fist fight and a finger on his dominant hand is jammed swollen and purple. It could have been much worse. He’s lucky (relatively speaking).